The Animagus and the Dog Shelter - ONE SHOT
by FullMoonDreams
Summary: Sirius Black wants to get to know Remus Lupin better. He is an animagus and Remus runs a dog shelter. It's fate – really!


The Animagus and the Dog Shelter

Warnings: Slash and a bit of bad language.

Notes: Unbeta'd.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.

A/N: This is not a new story, just one that I hadn't realised was not posted here already. I found a folder full of one shots and will be posting some of them here. Enjoy.

Sirius Black was perched on the back of the park bench, his feet resting on the seat. James Potter was sitting beside his feet, his fingers drumming impatiently on the wooden bench.

"How do you know he's even going to be here today?" James asked.

"Because he comes to walk the dogs from the Shelter every day. He'll be here soon."

"What if it's his day off?"

"He still walks the dogs in the morning. I think he owns the place."

"It's nearly lunchtime."

"It's not even eleven. He'll be here soon."

James stopped drumming his fingers and started tapping his foot instead.

"Here he comes," Sirius suddenly declared in a fierce whisper. "Isn't he gorgeous?"

James looked across at where a young man, about their own age, was walking five dogs of various breeds and sizes. "That's him?" he asked in surprise. "Not really the type you usually go for, is he?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, he looks kind of ordinary."

"He's anything but ordinary," Sirius replied, his eyes not leaving the man with the dogs. "He's perfect."

"But you usually date blokes that are drop dead gorgeous, full of themselves and treat you like shit."

"I do not!"

"What about Mitch?"

"He wasn't that good looking."

"He was a model for the latest Quidditch gear catalogue. And then there was Scott, he was a prick."

"I didn't bring you here to give me grief over my ex-boyfriends. We're here so you can meet the love of my life."

"Don't you think you should meet him first?"

"I'm going to. That's the other reason you're here. Oh, look, watch…"

"Watch what?"

"He's about to let the Yorkie off the lead. Just watch…"

"Am I missing something? What's so amazing about watching someone take a dog off a lead?"

"That arse," Sirius whispered. "When he bends over – There! – That perfect arse. Did you see it?"

James gave a non-committal sound that was a cross between a sigh and a grunt.

"Merlin! The things I could do to that arse."

"And moving on from that delightful topic," James interrupted before the glazed expression on Sirius's face became a permanent fixture. "What's this god's name?"

"Remus. Remus Lupin."

"He's a muggle, yeah?"

"I've never seen him do magic, so I guess. And he wasn't at Hogwarts with us."

"And how long have you been stalking him?"

"I'm not stalking him."

"How long?"

"A week or two."

"How long?"

"Maybe a month."

"Try again."

"Fine! Three months, maybe four."

"Have you actually spoken to him?"

"Not exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I smiled at him when we passed each other on the path once."

"That's all?"

"It's a start."

"Didn't you even say hello?"

"I tried."

"Useless," James muttered. "Absolutely useless."

"So, what am I supposed to say? Hi, Remus, let's shag."

"Not unless you want him to punch you," James replied. "If you knowing his name doesn't freak him out, then the indecent proposal will."

"I don't even know if he's gay. Which is why I've come up with The Plan."

"Oh, yes." James rolled his eyes. "The Plan. How could I have forgotten about that?"

"You remember what you're supposed to say?"

"Yes, but have you really thought this through?"

"Of course I have." Sirius finally turned away from Remus to look at James. "You want to say something else?"

James looked guilty for a moment, but finally he drew a deep breath and spoke his mind. "Are you sure he's the one, and that you're not just going for a muggle to piss off your parents?"

Sirius glared at his best friend. "I can't believe you'd ask me that! I'd never use someone just to get back at my parents."

"You know that you'll be putting him in danger if your parents find out? And as a muggle, he's not exactly equipped to take on the collective rage of the Black family."

"I wouldn't let anything happen to him."

"Good," James replied with a firm nod. "Because he's probably a perfectly decent bloke."

"He's more than that…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James muttered. "He's the love of your life, the man of your dreams, the object of your desires. You just better hope he's gay."

"If he isn't, I'm sure I'll just die."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay. It looks like he's getting ready to round up the dogs, so if you're going to do this, you'd better make it quick."

Sirius nodded and hopped down from the bench. Then he ducked into the trees and returned a moment later in his animagus form, that of a large black dog.

James sighed as he looked at Padfoot. "This was supposed to be to help me pick up girls, not to help you pick up guys," he muttered as Padfoot trotted over towards Remus and the dogs from the animal shelter.

-o-

Remus looked at his watch. It was almost time to get back to the shelter. He still had to fix the latch on the gate and the supplier was due to deliver the latest batch of food in half an hour.

"Come on, boy," he called to the last of the dogs, thankful that those that were trained were at least very well trained. Those that wouldn't come to his call were not let off the lead.

The Collie ran back to him and sat patiently whilst he put his lead back on. It was only when he looked up that he saw the large black dog standing a few feet away.

"Where did you come from?" he asked conversationally. "You're not one of mine. Is your owner around here?"

The dog stared back at him silently. Not that he was expecting it to talk back or anything. That would just be silly. But even so, Remus had the distinct impression that the animal could understand every word he was saying.

He looked around the park, hoping to see someone wandering around with a lead and collar. Unfortunately, other than a couple of children throwing bread to the ducks in the pond, the only other person in the park was a be-speckled young man, around his own age, and he wasn't carrying a lead.

"Excuse me!" Remus called to the man anyway. "Do you know this dog?"

The man with the glasses walked over to him, muttering something that Remus couldn't quite catch. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I said he's not mine," the man replied. "I've seen him around though. I think he's a stray."

Remus looked doubtfully at the dog. "Are you sure? Only he looks well fed, a little overfed in fact. If he's a stray, he's certainly eating well."

The man snickered and the dog growled, startling Remus, and once again giving him the impression that he understood what he was saying.

The man shrugged. "Well, he's not mine and I've never seen him with an owner."

Remus looked around again, but there was still no sign of anyone looking for the dog. "I suppose I should take him back to the shelter with me."

"Shelter?"

"The animal shelter," Remus clarified. "I run the place, so it wouldn't be any trouble."

"I'll leave him with you then."

Remus nodded and the man continued on his way. "I don't have a lead for you, so if you're coming with me, you'll just have to follow."

The dog gave a bark and walked in the direction Remus was about to head. Then he stopped, turned to look at Remus and waited until he and the rest of the dogs had caught up.

"Well, you seem pretty smart," Remus commented as they walked around the edge of the pond and back towards the road. "You must have been well trained, so where's your owner now?"

The dog turned to him and nuzzled his hand with his nose.

"I'm not your owner," Remus told him with a laugh. The dog gave a short bark and turned to walk ahead of him again. "You're going to be trouble," he said as he followed after him. "Big trouble. I can tell."

-o-

Padfoot, as he thought of himself when he was in his animagus form, walked alongside Remus as they made their way back to the shelter. It had been much easier than he had thought it would be to persuade Remus to let him tag along with him. James had barely had to do a thing, and he made a mental note to take that up with James when he called in the favour.

They arrived at the shelter just as it started to spit with rain and Padfoot rushed inside the building as soon as Remus had unlocked and opened the door.

The first thing he spotted inside the room was a large dog bed. It looked expensive and comfortable, a lot more so than the chair at the overly messy desk. He bounded over to the bed and threw himself on it. It was as soft as it looked and he knew he had found the perfect place from which to observe Remus.

"I wouldn't lay there if I were you," Remus advised. "That's Sylvie's bed. Come on, you can come through the back with the rest of the strays."

Padfoot looked towards the door that Remus was gesturing towards, but he made no move to join the other dogs. He wouldn't be able to see and hear Remus through there, and the bed was awfully comfy.

Remus looked at him and laughed. He hadn't heard him laugh before. It was a nice laugh, joyful and with a slightly wry tone to it. Padfoot remained in the bed, and a moment later he realised why Remus had found his reluctance to move humorous.

She was large, almost as large as he was, and looked like she was more wolf than dog. She was clearly no stray and looked well cared for and pampered. From his vantage point on her bed, she looked like she also had something of a temper about her.

She took one look at him and began to growl menacingly in his direction. Any other dog would probably have given up the bed immediately, but Padfoot knew he was made of stronger stuff than that, and he growled right back at the bitch.

"Come on, mutt," Remus said. "This way."

Mutt? Padfoot was immediately offended that the love of his life could casually refer to him in such a derogatory manner and retaliated by offering Remus his most adoring expression.

He told himself that it would have worked if it were not for the distraction of the door opening and the appearance of a vivacious looking redhead.

"Hi, Lily," Remus greeted the woman, enveloping her in a tight hug. "When did you get back into town?"

"Last night, or early this morning to be precise," Lily replied as she returned his hug. Padfoot gave a soft growl at the couple and wondered just precisely who this pushy redhead was. If she was the girlfriend then he'd better come up with a new plan and fast.

"How are you doing?" Lily asked as she sat down at the desk.

Remus swept some of the papers out of the way and sat on the edge of the desk. "Fine."

"Still losing money on this place?"

"Of course."

"You don't sound as worried as you did before I left."

"That's because I've put the place on the market."

"You've what?" Padfoot silently echoed Lily's exclamation. In the time he had been watching Remus, he had learned that he man truly loved the dogs in his care, and he wondered what would happen to them all if the place were to close down. He would be all right, but the rest of them were already unwanted. He turned to Remus to see what his answer was going to be, while trying at the same time to ignore the bitch that was trying to oust him from the bed.

"Oh, don't worry," Remus replied. "I'll move the dogs to my place and run the shelter from there."

Lily didn't look that impressed with his answer, but Padfoot was secretly delighted at the idea of getting to see where Remus lived. He wondered how long it would be before the building was sold and they had to move, realised that that was far too long a wait, and resolved to persuade Remus that he should take him home with him as soon as possible.

Lily gave Remus a sceptical look.

"It'll be fine. There'll be less travelling. No bills for this place."

"And you'll have the perfect excuse to never set foot outside the house."

"I go out."

"When was the last time you had a date?" Padfoot's head shot up as he waited for Remus to reply. Lily moved from potential girlfriend and a threat to be eliminated to helpful co-conspirator, although she didn't know it.

"Last Sunday." Padfoot growled again. That was not good. He had been moping around his flat wondering how to get close to Remus on Sunday, and at the same time the object of his desire was on a date with a person unknown.

"Really?" Lily sounded doubtful, but Remus merely laughed and nodded.

Padfoot tried to ignore the bitch that was now trying to crawl under him in order to heave him off of the bed. The conversation between Remus and Lily was just getting interesting and he didn't need to be distracted by a possessive, showy little bitch like her.

"Come on then," Lily encouraged. "You owe me details. You think this might be – you know – the one?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

Lily snorted. "What's he like?"

Padfoot let loose a bark of joy at Lily's question. He knew it!

"He seems all right," Remus replied, and Padfoot felt his spirits lift at the rather dull tone that the young man used. Clearly, whoever Remus had been on a date with was not someone worthy of enthusiasm. He was quite sure that if it had been him Remus had been on a date with, he would have now been listening to a nice long list of his virtues.

"Just all right?" Lily pressed on.

"Okay, he's more than all right," Remus said with a chuckle. Padfoot wondered whether he should reconsider his previous thoughts.

"Good looking?"

"Very."

Padfoot was secure enough to know that his own looks were more than adequate to see off this unexpected competition.

"Does he have a job?" Lily asked. "He's not some useless layabout like that dropout you dated right after we finished school, is he?"

Remus shook his head. "No, he works full time. Does a lot of overtime, too. He's had to cancel a couple of dates because of work."

Padfoot wondered if perhaps he should consider getting a job – if it was something that Remus apparently prized in a boyfriend – but he quickly reconsidered that thought. He had money; he didn't need to work. His money could ensure that Remus never had to give up the building here, and all without making so much as a dent in his pile of gold in Gringotts.

"So, when are you seeing him again?"

"Tonight," Remus replied. "He's heard of some new club that's just opened and he thought we could check it out."

"You hate clubs," Lily pointed out. "I thought you were looking for someone you could – you know – just be yourself with?"

Remus shrugged and looked away. "I know, but there aren't really that many blokes in this tiny town that swing that way."

"There are if you make an effort to go looking for them."

"I do look. I've met this guy, haven't I?"

"I'll bet he was the one to hit on you though," Lily guessed. "Remus, you're never going to find the right bloke for you if you don't try."

Remus looked decidedly sulky when he turned back to Lily. "You've never even met the bloke and you've already decided he's not the one for me."

Padfoot would have sided with Remus on this one – Lily did seem a tiny bit pushy – but since he was sure that he was the one for Remus, he decided that Lily was right and voiced his approval with a loud bark.

"Where did he come from?" Lily asked, her gaze resting on Padfoot for the first time.

"He sort of followed me home from the park," Remus replied. "I'll place an ad and see if I can find his owner."

"Yeah, he's too well fed to be a stray," Lily agreed. She reached down to pet him, but withdrew her hand quickly when Padfoot growled in annoyance at her comment. What was it with everyone commenting on his weight today?

"Not the brightest of animals either," Lily continued. "Any dog with sense would get out of Sylvie's bed when she sat on top of him."

Padfoot growled again. Just because he wasn't some wimp like the other dogs that had passed through here, it didn't mean he was stupid.

"Bit vicious, too," Lily added.

Padfoot turned his most adoring expression towards Remus and gave a small whimper that he hoped sounded cute. Remus chuckled and leaned over to scratch behind his ear. "He's not so bad," he said.

Padfoot gave another bark. Hear that girls? Not so bad.

-o-

Despite his best efforts, Remus did not take his newest addition to the shelter home with him that night. On reflection, Sirius considered that this was perhaps best for now. After all, he had to report back to James and he needed to start on phase two of The Plan. So, after Remus had gone home, thankfully taking Sylvie with him, Sirius – who was quite annoyed at being locked up in the kennels just like an ordinary dog – turned back into his human form and quickly apparated back to the flat he shared with James. As long as he made sure he was back at the shelter before Remus arrived the following morning, he would never know the difference.

"How did it go?" James asked as soon as he arrived home.

"He's gay!" Sirius exclaimed. "I knew it. He's just perfect for me. We're perfect for each other."

James made several appreciative sounds, but couldn't seem to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

Sirius went through to his room, the ridiculous grin still on his face, as he called back to James to get dressed because they were going out.

-o-

"Sirius," James hissed, tugging Sirius away from the bar with a glare. "This is a gay bar."

Sirius gave James a look. "Well, yeah. I'm gay, so is he. What did you expect?"

"You've dragged me to a gay bar," James declared. "There's a guy over there eyeing me up and another one propositioned me on the way to the loos."

"You've been hit on before me?" Sirius asked in surprise, wondering how in the world that could have happened.

"You're missing the point," James complained. "I'm not gay!"

Sirius laughed. "Do I whine about girls hitting on me every time you take me to a regular club?"

"That's not the point," James whined.

After that, Sirius tuned out James in favour of scanning the room for Remus and his date.

"There he is," he finally told James, spinning his friend round – spilling his pint in the process – to face Remus and… "Shit! It can't be!"

"What?" James asked as he tried to salvage the rest of his drink.

"It's Scott."

"Scott who cheated on you?" James asked.

"No," Sirius replied sarcastically. "Of course it's my ex. Well, that settles it. No way is he good enough for Remus."

James shook his head. "You're telling me it would have made any difference at all if his date wasn't a prize jerk?"

"That's not the point."

"'Course not," James said. "So, what are you planning on doing?"

"Er…"

"You do have a plan, right?"

"Um…"

"So, the plan is to stand here like a complete berk all night, mooning over him while your ex slobbers over him?" James suggested. "Good plan. Brilliantly thought out. One of your best."

"I should go and introduce myself," Sirius suggested.

"With Scott standing right next to him?" James queried. "You do remember what happened the last time you spoke to him?"

Sirius cringed. The break up had not been pretty, and for several months afterwards –thanks to a few creative hexes from Sirius – neither had Scott.

"You could distract him," Sirius suggested with a grin. "You hit on him, draw him away from Remus, and then I'll make my move."

James shook his head frantically. "No, no, no, and a thousand times, NO!"

"You said you'd help me get the man of my dreams," Sirius reminded him.

"I didn't say I'd hit on another bloke!" James continued to shake his head, a look of horror evident on his face. Sirius ignored both of these things.

"It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with him," Sirius pointed out impatiently.

James gave a very unmanly squeak at the very thought. "But what if he wants to do something else. That bloke that propositioned me wanted to suck me off."

Sirius gave him a teasing grin. "You should have let him. You might find you like it."

"But what if Scott wants to do that?"

"He won't."

"You don't know that."

"Actually I do know that," Sirius replied. "He was a bloody selfish git in more ways than one. He liked being on the receiving end, but he'd never stoop to getting his knees dirty in a place like this to return the favour."

"You mean he might ask me to…" James turned very pale and began shaking his head even more rapidly than before.

Sirius glared at him. "You said you'd help me, remember?"

"Not to this extent," James replied.

"All you have to do is give him the eye, then when he approaches you –"

"If he approaches me."

"He will. When he approaches you, offer to buy him a drink or something. Then I'll make my move."

James finally stopped shaking his head and gave him a sulky look. "Just buy him a drink?" he asked.

Sirius nodded.

"You're paying for it," James insisted, holding out his hand for the money.

"Fine," Sirius replied, fumbling with the muggle money and handing James a wad of notes. James then began his mission to catch the eye of Scott.

Ten minutes later, Sirius pulled James to one side again and glared at him. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hissed.

"Trying to give him the eye," James replied.

"What? The evil eye?" Sirius asked. "You're twitching and pulling faces and making yourself look a prize pillock."

"I was winking at him."

"Is that what you call it?" Sirius gave James a look of disgust. "No wonder you're always getting slapped by women. Look, like this."

Sirius then proceeded to demonstrate his best come hither look for James to copy. James's attempt was probably best forgotten about… quickly.

"Oh, just go and ask him if you can buy him a drink," Sirius said. "Look, he's on his way over to the bar. You stall him, while I go introduce myself to Remus."

James gave a long-suffering sigh, but did as he was asked – told – ordered.

Sirius didn't wait to see that he was approaching Scott. He made a beeline for Remus and mentally ran through the speech he'd been practising in his mind all afternoon.

The speech had started with 'Hi, I'm Sirius…', but unfortunately Sirius, who was normally grace personified, slipped on a wet patch on the floor, fell flat on his face at Remus's feet, and soaked the man of his dreams with watered down beer.

"Shit," Sirius spluttered as he scrambled to his knees. "I'm so sorry. Let me get that for you."

Sirius did manage to avoid doing something silly like pulling out his wand to clean up the mess he had made, but still managed to screw things up by reaching out to grab the handkerchief Remus had produced and proceeding to dab at the damp patch on Remus's crotch.

"You don't have to do that," Remus said, trying to grab the hanky back. "Really, there's no need."

"I'm so sorry," Sirius repeated, continuing to grovel his apologies and dab away. "I'm never normally this clumsy. Really, I'm not. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to do that. I don't normally babble this much either. Oh, bloody hell, I'm babbling like an idiot, aren't I? And I'm making a right mess of your trousers, too. I can't believe I just did that. I feel so stupid. Did I make all this mess? Not that I'm suggesting that your trousers would be stained with anything else. No, I didn't mean that at all…"

Sirius continued to babble, ignoring whatever it was that Remus was saying, or trying to say to him. Some small part of his brain was trying to remind him that he was never this inept when it came to approaching men, and that he was normally perfectly capable of carrying out an intelligent conversation. Unfortunately, the babbling was drowning that part of his brain out.

He needed something to happen to stop himself from screwing this up even more than he was already. That something came in the form of a very noticeable twitch from within Remus's trousers. Sirius's hand stilled and he drew in a shaky breath. He couldn't seem to draw his gaze away from Remus's crotch, which seemed to be rather pleased with his attention.

"You done down there?" Remus asked, and there was a definite hint of amusement in his tone.

"This is all wrong," Sirius said, his mind on the fact that he was the one stumbling over his words and Remus was calm and composed. He was fairly sure that it was written somewhere that it should be the other way around.

"What's wrong?" Remus questioned.

"You are," Sirius replied, his brain still not entirely running at full speed.

"I am?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Sirius hurriedly explained. "I meant that you're supposed to be all nervous, and I'm supposed to be all suave, and it's all gone wrong."

Remus chuckled and held out his hand. Sirius reached out to shake it, his own hand still sticky from the spilt beer. "My handkerchief," Remus said.

"Oh, sorry," Sirius muttered, shoving the hanky in question into Remus's outstretched hand. "I'll just be going now. Yeah… I'll be going… away… erm…"

Remus chuckled and said something else, but Sirius was already backing away and didn't hear what he had said.

What a bloody disaster!

-o-

Sirius made sure he was back at the shelter well before dawn the following morning. This, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that James had been whining non-stop, and practically all night, about all he had had to suffer the night before.

Remus arrived at the shelter and Padfoot made sure that he barked a nice friendly greeting as soon as he saw him.

"Hello, boy," Remus said as he put down some food.

Sirius looked at the bowl and decided that it was a good thing he had eaten before he had left the flat. He didn't have anything particular against dog food, only that he thought it tasted like cardboard and he had no intention of touching it.

"Don't you want your breakfast?" Remus asked. "You're not ill, are you?"

Sirius wondered whether it would be worth playing at being sick and getting sympathy, and how much he could get before Remus suggested a trip to the vet. In the end he decided it wasn't worth the risk and other than a mild hangover, he was actually in pretty good health.

"Remus? You out back?" Lily's voice drifted through from the front office.

"In here," Remus called.

"How did last night go?" Lily asked. "Come on; I want all the gory details."

"Gory?" Remus replied with a laugh as he finished feeding the rest of the dogs and went to greet her. Padfoot followed him eagerly. He had no intention of getting shut up away from Remus for the entire day.

He looked towards the bed he had commandeered the previous day, but it seemed that Sylvie had anticipated that he might like to sit there again, and she had got there first.

Padfoot put his nose into the air as he sat at Remus's feet. Despite their war of the previous day, he liked to think he had a little more class than to fight her for the bed.

"Did you get laid?" Lily clarified with a wink. Padfoot barked his approval and went to Lily's side, nodding his head, trying to persuade Remus to answer the all important question – preferably with a negative response.

Remus laughed as he put the kettle on and poured them a couple of cups of coffee. "No, as it happens. I didn't get laid last night."

"Why not?"

Remus frowned as he added several spoons of sugar to his own mug.

"Did something happen?" Lily asked.

"We had a bit of a fight," Remus said. Padfoot tried to be sympathetic, but failed miserably. He'd leave the sympathy to Lily.

Lily took her mug from Remus and took a sip before she spoke again. "What about?"

"I suggested going back to his place and he accused me of being clingy," Remus replied.

Padfoot remembered that excuse. He had heard it several times from Scott, ignorant, as Remus was now, to the real reason that Scott never invited his dates back to his house. The reason was, of course, the man he lived with. He might turn a blind eye to Scott sleeping around, but apparently drew the line at bringing other men back to their place.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're the least clingy person I know," she said. "You know what you need?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"You need a decent bloke, who treats you right." Padfoot gave a bark. "See," Lily said. "Even the mutt agrees with me." Padfoot let the mutt remark pass, but made a mental note for future reference.

"Scott isn't so bad," Remus replied with a shrug. "Only…"

"Only what?"

Remus shook his head. "It's silly."

"What is?"

"No, I'm just being paranoid."

"You can't leave it like that," Lily insisted. "What is it?"

Remus sighed. "Do you remember back in fourth year?"

"Anything in particular in fourth year?" Lily replied. "Or just fourth year in general?"

"When we dated in fourth year," Remus clarified. "You know, before I…"

Remus's voice trailed off, but Lily was quick to fill in the blanks. "Before you decided you preferred to stick it in a bloke's arse?" she suggested with a wicked grin.

"Actually I prefer to take it than give," Remus teased.

Lily gave a mock shiver. "You remember when we talked about over sharing?"

"Sorry," Remus said, not sounding like he meant it at all. "You know I can't resist. Anyway, yes, then. Was I a bad kisser?"

"What?" Lily asked with a frown.

"Was I a bad kisser?" Remus repeated. "Only Scott never kisses me and I got to wondering if that might be the reason why. Since you're the only person I've kissed who I can talk to about this…"

Lily shook her head. "Remus, neither of us had ever kissed anyone before we kissed each other. I don't think it's fair to judge you on how you used to kiss then…especially since within six months you decided you preferred to kiss boys."

Remus's head dropped to the table. "I'm a bad kisser," he whined. "No wonder I can't keep a bloke satisfied."

"I'm sure that's not true," Lily scoffed.

"Then why won't he kiss me?" Remus's muffled reply was barely audible.

"Maybe he just doesn't like kissing," Lily suggested.

Padfoot growled. Scott hadn't liked kissing him either. He was fairly sure that the reason stemmed from not wanting to get close to someone who was just an easy shag, though he recalled he had had a similar conversation with James before he'd found out about Scott's duplicity. He had even persuaded James to kiss him and give him a full and frank assessment of his skill. James had protested until Sirius had pressed their mouths together with rather more force than was strictly necessary. James had told him he was a crap kisser, but since there had been little to no participation from James himself, Sirius was inclined to disregard that opinion.

Looking at Remus now, he wondered what it would be like to kiss him. He had no doubt that Remus wouldn't squeal like a girl and insist that Sirius buy him a bottle of Ogden's finest to take away the taste of another bloke's mouth. James could be such a whiner.

"I guess," Remus replied with a sigh. "Perhaps Scott isn't the one for me…"

Now we're talking, Padfoot thought to himself.

"I'm sure there's someone out there who's just perfect for you," Lily consoled. "Maybe you could go back to that club and find someone else?"

"It wasn't that great a club," Remus told her. "Crap music, watered down beer, the usual idiots hitting on you every time you turn round."

"So, you got hit on, did you?" Lily asked, perking up considerably.

"Sort of. Well, not really."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Padfoot looked at Remus and saw the flush begin at his collar and creep right up his neck and all over his face.

"Well, there was one bloke who… he didn't really hit on me so much as feel me up."

"Oooh," Lily squealed. "Remus Lupin, you slut."

"It's not funny," Remus replied. Padfoot meanwhile was suffering the awful feeling that came with knowing that he was about to be talked about, and not in the most flattering of terms.

"What happened?"

"There was this bloke…"

"Good looking?" Lily interrupted.

Remus shrugged. "I guess. He walked over to me, spilt his beer all over my trousers and made a huge deal about cleaning me up."

"Maybe he was nervous?"

"Maybe he wanted to have an excuse to cop a feel and see how much I had to offer," Remus replied with a snort.

Padfoot buried his head in his paws, slightly insulted by the half-hearted 'I guess' in response to Lily's question, and wishing he hadn't made such a fool of himself the previous night.

"I'm sure that's not true," Lily insisted. "He was probably intimidated by your good looks."

Remus snorted again. "I doubt it."

"Why?" Lily questioned. "If he wasn't that good looking, he could have been."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, he was bloody gorgeous, okay?"

"Better and better," Lily crowed, while Padfoot pulled his head up and began to preen again.

"It's probably best I never got his name," Remus continued. "He's the sort of boy my mother warned me about."

"You've come out to your mother?" Lily asked in surprise.

Remus shook his head in horror. "Bloody hell, no, but if I were a girl, that bloke would be the sort she would have warned me about."

Padfoot wondered if there might be a possibility of meeting Mrs Lupin some time in the near future. Thoughts of digging up her flowerbeds or chasing her cat – he'd bet anything she had one – were suddenly quite appealing.

"You should see him again," suggested Lily, ignoring the practicalities of her declaration as only a girl could. Padfoot barked his approval again. "See, the mutt agrees, too."

Padfoot was getting a little tired of being called a mutt and moved to sit a little closer to Remus again.

"Only in my dreams," Remus replied with a grin.

"And did he feature in them last night?" teased Lily, rocking forward on her chair and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Might have," Remus answered mysteriously. "But I seem to recall you chastising me for over sharing a little while ago."

Padfoot turned to growl at Lily. She might not want to know what Remus dreamed about last night, but he was dying of curiosity here.

Lily scowled. "You, Remus Lupin, are a tease," she accused.

Remus laughed, but to Padfoot's disappointment he refused to elaborate any further.

-o-

"Sirius, for the love of Merlin, it's been a week. You can't just carry on spying on him as Padfoot!"

James was complaining… again.

Sirius wasn't really listening to him. He was trying to figure out what had gone wrong at the club. He was Sirius Black. He never had trouble talking to anyone, and certainly not when it came to asking a bloke out. But for some reason, when it came to Remus, he was finding himself in alarming new territory. First he had wasted months watching him from afar, too nervous to even say hello. Then, when he had finally worked up the courage to approach him, he had babbled like a brook and made a total utter arse out of himself.

"Maybe I should write him a letter?" Sirius suggested.

James laughed. "I don't think your talent for writing dirty limericks is the way to get this guy. From what you've said, I think he has a lot more class than that."

Sirius glared at James and went back to pondering the problem.

"Sirius, mate," James said with a long-suffering sigh. "Just go and talk to him."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because every time I get within ten feet of him, my brain shuts down," Sirius muttered.

James rolled his eyes and chuckled. "In that case, I don't see much future for the two of you. Why not get someone to come and claim you from the shelter and forget about him?"

Sirius looked at James in horror. "You want me to give up? What sort of a Gryffindor would I be if I did that?"

"One who's late getting back to his cage," James replied.

Sirius looked at the clock, swore and apparated back to Remus's dog shelter once again.

-o-

"Scott called," Lily said as soon as Remus returned from walking Padfoot and the rest of the dogs in his care.

"What did he say?" Remus asked.

"He's got to work tonight and he'll give you a call tomorrow," Lily replied. "That's the second time this week; I think you should dump him."

"I'll take that under advisement," Remus said with a smile. "Thanks for watching the place while I walked the dogs. Any other calls?"

Lily shook her head as Padfoot sat down at Remus's feet and wondered whether he could somehow find a way to convince Remus to go round to Scott's house. He was sure that Remus would break up with him as soon as he found out that he was 'the other man'. All he had to do was find a way to send him over there.

An hour later he had an idea. All he needed to do was persuade James to go along with him one more time.

-o-

"All you have to do is phone Remus, convince him that you own me, and get him to take me home – to Scott's house."

"We don't have a phone," James pointed out.

"So, use one of those on the street. You do remember how they work?"

James nodded, much to Sirius's relief since he had no idea.

"How do you know Scott will be there?" James asked.

"We'll time it so that Remus arrives with me – as Padfoot – while Scott and his boyfriend are getting ready to go out."

"And if they're not going out tonight?"

"Then they're staying in and it's not a problem when Remus arrives," Sirius pointed out impatiently.

"What if Remus insists that I come and collect you?" James asked.

"Tell him you're bedridden. Tell him you've got the worst sense of direction in the world. Tell him you're blind and I'm your guide dog. Make something up. Honestly, James, do I have to think of everything?"

"But-"

"I've got to go," Sirius interrupted, not giving James a chance to argue any further. He knew he couldn't wait any longer and quickly apparated back to the shelter, where he immediately turned back into Padfoot and sat down in the same spot he had been in when Remus had left for the shop.

Sylvie looked at him from her bed and he found himself very thankful that dogs – as a general rule – couldn't talk.

-o-

"Your owner is as much trouble as you are," Remus said, though there was an underlying tone of affection in his voice as he walked Padfoot to his owner's address on the other side of town. "It's a good job my plans for the evening got cancelled."

Padfoot trotted alongside him, hoping that they had timed things correctly.

"I think this is the place," Remus said as he pulled out a scrap of paper and checked the address. "You know, you could look a little more excited to be home."

Padfoot gave a dutiful bark and followed Remus to the front door. He sat patiently while Remus rang the bell, waiting for the inevitable explosion that would happen when Remus saw how he had been deceived.

Padfoot heard the sound of footsteps before Remus did, and his ears perked up as he waited for the door to open.

"Yes?" asked the stranger.

"I'm returning your dog," Remus said, sounding ever so slightly confused. "We spoke on the phone?"

"I don't have a dog," the man replied. "You sure you've got the right house?"

Remus pulled the paper from his pocket again and checked the address.

"That's here," the man said as he leaned over to see the paper. "But we don't have a dog. Can't have one actually – it's in the rental contract."

"This is so strange," Remus said. "I had a phone call claiming this dog and the man I spoke to gave this address."

"Maybe you misheard it?"

"I checked it back with him."

Padfoot tried to see beyond the man at the door and further into the house. If Scott didn't appear then Remus would leave without being any the wiser and the same trick would not work a second time.

It seemed as though the plan had failed when a familiar voice suddenly called out from inside the house.

"Who is it, Babe?"

The man at the door cringed, not unlike Sirius had done whenever he had been tagged with that particular nickname. He suspected that Remus hated being called Babe just as much as he and Scott's boyfriend did. Remus, however, wasn't cringing; he was frowning as he looked down the hall.

The boyfriend didn't answer Scott's question immediately. Instead he sighed and shook his head slightly. "Someone for you," he finally called back.

Padfoot edged closer to Remus, knowing that all hell was about to break loose.

Scott appeared a few moments later, his face curious at first, but then twisting with fury as he spotted who was on his doorstep.

"You little bastard," Scott hissed, glaring at Padfoot.

He flinched slightly and wished that his animagus form didn't put him so far below eye level with the other man. He also wished that he'd remembered that Scott – a wizard himself – not only knew that he was an animagus, but had also seen him in his canine form.

Unfortunately it was too late to back out now.

Remus coughed with embarrassment. "I'm not sure what the dog's done to you, but I think we'll just be leaving."

"Good idea," the boyfriend commented. "You can take him with you." He nodded at Scott and folded his arms across his chest.

"Not bloody likely," Remus replied. "I didn't know he was living with someone and I'd never have agreed to see him if I had."

The boyfriend shrugged. "Suit yourself. You're welcome to him if you want him."

"I don't," Remus said. "Come on, mutt."

Padfoot turned to leave with Remus, and he didn't see Scott's boot reaching out to kick him sharply from behind. He didn't see the car coming towards him. He didn't see either of those things, and as he slowly lost consciousness he was equally sure he didn't see Remus Lupin – a muggle – pull something that looked remarkably like a wand from his pocket.

His last thought before he blacked out – regaining his human form as he did – was that he wondered how many years in Azkaban he would get for breaching the Statute of Secrecy by changing from a dog to a man in the middle of a busy street.

-o-

"He's a bloody wizard," Remus hissed at Lily as he paced back and forth across the waiting room in St Mungo's.

"So you said," Lily replied. "Several times. What do you suppose he was doing hiding out at the shelter as a dog?"

"Spying on me," Remus answered as though this was obvious. "The Healers recognised him as soon as he came in. He's a Black."

"Really?"

"The eldest heir to the ancient and most noble house of Black," Remus declared. "Pureblood fanatics and pioneers of nice little laws that stop us half bloods and muggle borns from ever taking our place in their precious society."

"It's not his fault they've introduced laws to stop us from being educated and trained in this country."

"His father helped to draft the bloody laws! His family is the very reason that we're not allowed to do magic without being thrown in Azkaban for it."

"Maybe you should wait and see what he has to say for himself?" Lily suggested. "You said yourself that he'd tried to talk to you at that club. Perhaps he's not like the rest of them…"

Remus shook his head. "I can't risk it."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'm trying to remember if I've done any magic around the shelter since I brought him there. I can't believe I didn't realise he was an animagus. I knew he was too smart for a regular dog, but I was too blind to realise why. I hope he didn't see me do anything too incriminating."

"Do you use your magic a lot?" Lily asked. "I've been trying not to, but it's really hard when you know you can."

Remus shook his head. "Not often. Just every now and then. I might use it to warm up my coffee if I've let it go cold, or I might use it to move the heavy bags of dog food about, or clean the kennels if I'm running late or really tired. I just don't remember if I've done anything in front of Black. Though it might be fruitless to worry if he saw me before he passed out."

"I think you should talk to him," Lily said, nodding firmly.

"I'm going to just as soon as he wakes up," Remus agreed. "And I'm going to do whatever it takes to stay out of Azkaban."

"What do you mean?" Lily whispered.

"I mean that I modified the memories of everyone who saw him change into a human in that street, and I've every intention of modifying his memory so that he forgets he ever met me."

"Remus, you can't!"

Remus glared back at Lily stubbornly. "Watch me."

-o-

Sirius Black was everything Remus remembered him to be and more. Seen in the bright light of St Mungo's he was even more breathtaking than he had been at the club.

"Hello, Remus," Sirius said with a small smile. "I'm Sirius Black."

Remus nodded. "I know who you are." He knew his voice was cold, but didn't realise quite how frosty it was until he saw Sirius flinch and duck his head.

"You're a wizard," Sirius commented.

"Depends who you ask," Remus replied. "My mother was a muggle, so according to you purebloods, I'm nothing."

"I don't share my family's beliefs," Sirius said.

"Really?" Remus asked sarcastically. "I hear the purebloods like to spy on the half bloods and muggle borns, to make sure they don't perform any magic. You've been spying on me. Do you expect me to believe it isn't for that reason?"

"It wasn't."

"Then why?"

"Because I…" Sirius's faltered and looked away.

Remus nodded again. "I'm sorry, Sirius. If there was any other way, I wouldn't do this."

"Do what?" Sirius asked, looking up.

"This," Remus said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at Sirius.

"No!" Sirius shook his head and tried to untangle himself from the sheets so that he could get out of bed.

"It has to be this way," Remus insisted. "I can't go to Azkaban and if you report me for doing magic, that's where I'll end up."

"I don't care if you're a wizard," Sirius said, reaching out to grab Remus's wrist. "I think it's great. I don't care if your parents were both muggles. Really I don't."

"Then why were you spying on me?" Remus hissed.

"I wanted to get to know you," Sirius replied, desperately hoping that Remus wasn't about to do what he suspected.

Remus laughed. "The famous Sirius Black, pureblood heir and sophisticated member of wizard society, wanted to get to know me?"

"It's the truth." Sirius was starting to panic and he pulled Remus towards him. "You have to believe me."

Remus shook his head. "Damn it," he muttered, right before he pressed their mouths together.

Sirius was too stunned to kiss him back at first, but then he realised that this might be the only chance he got to kiss the man of his dreams and he was wasting it.

It was rough, with teeth clashing and tongues frantically exploring. Someone was whimpering, and he thought it might be him.

He had a horrible feeling that Remus was going to perform a spell on him, and rob him of his memories, but as long as they were kissing he was safe from losing him. As long as they were together he was safe.

He didn't want to forget this feeling.

He didn't want to forget Remus.

But he didn't know how to make Remus believe him. He had spied on him and taken advantage of his hospitality. He had manipulated him and caused him to lose his boyfriend. He had done everything except simply tell Remus that he liked him and wanted to get to know him better.

He released Remus's wrist so that he could pull him into his arms and hold him close.

Their mouths parted ever so slightly. "Don't do this," Sirius breathed into Remus's mouth. "Please give me another chance."

-o-

James looked at Sirius as he dressed and gathered his things together to leave St Mungo's. "So, what exactly happened?"

"Got hit by a car," Sirius replied.

"How did you manage to do something stupid like that?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Do you remember what happened at Scott's house?" James asked.

"Scott?" Sirius echoed. "Why would I go to Scott's?"

"Because Remus is dating him," James reminded him. He was starting to worry and voiced his concern.

"I don't remember telling you Remus's name," Sirius said. "And I'm sure he'd have better taste than to hook up with a slimy git like Scott."

"Apparently his taste in men is as crap as your own, because he did hook up with him and you did tell me his name. What exactly is the last thing you do remember?"

Sirius frowned. "Last night at the Leaky Cauldron. You conned me into paying for two rounds in a row."

"I did not, and that was over a week ago."

"I've lost a week," Sirius asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "How did that happen?"

James shook his head. "I'm not sure, but I think perhaps your Remus Lupin might have the answer."

Two hours after Remus had left St Mungo's, secure in the belief that he would never set eyes on Sirius Black again, the man in question appeared at the shelter, this time in his human form. He arrived with another man, one who Remus recognised as the man from the park.

"Remus Lupin?" the man asked. "I'm James Potter."

Remus gave a small nod. "Can I help you?" he asked, working on the basis that if all else fails then play ignorant.

"I believe you've met my friend Sirius," James continued, gesturing towards the man in question.

"No," Remus said with what he hoped was a polite frown of confusion. "I don't believe I've had that pleasure."

James snorted. "Oh, he's good, Sirius," he said with a grin. "Nearly as good a liar as you are."

"Excuse me?" Remus replied, whilst Sirius voiced his protestations at being called a liar. James ignored both Sirius's exclamations and Remus's feigned confusion.

"I know you met Sirius at that new club the other night," James said. "I was there and I saw him soak you in beer and make a complete prat of himself."

"I'd never!" Sirius exclaimed.

"You did," James replied without turning from Remus. "I was there and I saw you. So you might as well give up this whole innocent act and admit it."

Remus frowned as his brain clicked into overdrive. "You're the bloke who fell at my feet," he said, feigning sudden recollection. "Sorry, I didn't recognise you."

"I take it back," James said with a snort of laughter. "He's a better liar than you are."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."

"Maybe he really doesn't," Sirius suggested. "Perhaps his memory has been erased, too. If he was with me when I got hit by the car then he'd have seen you-know-what and…"

"You're right," James said. "But there's one way to find out right now."

"There is?" Sirius asked.

James nodded and reached into his pocket. "You know what this is?" he asked Remus.

Remus shrugged. "Looks like a stick of wood."

"It's a wand, a wizard's wand," James replied with a smirk.

"James!" Sirius hissed. "You can't tell him about us."

"Sure I can. If he isn't one of us then I'll erase the last few minutes of his memory and he'll forget this even happened. But I don't think that'll be necessary, because I think Remus knows exactly what this stick of wood is, and I think he might have a similar one on his person somewhere. There's only one way to find out."

"You're going to strip search him?" Sirius asked with a grin of approval.

James rolled his eyes. "Accio wand," he said, pointing his own wand at Remus and grinning when Remus's wand flew from his pocket and into his outstretched hand. "Now, what would this be?"

"Give that back!" Remus ordered.

"Looks like a wand," James said in answer to his own question.

"You're a wizard?" Sirius asked Remus. His eyes were wide with shock.

Remus sighed and sat down at his desk. He didn't say anything. He wondered what the food was like in Azkaban and what would happen to Sylvie and the rest of the dogs.

"Well, don't you have anything to say?" James asked.

"Like what?" Remus replied. "I'm a half blood who's performed magic on a pureblood. Goodbye dog shelter, hello Azkaban."

"I knew it!" James declared with triumph. "James Potter, detective supreme, solves another mystery."

Remus looked down at his feet miserably.

Sirius snorted with annoyance and pushed James to one side. Then he dropped to the floor at Remus's feet. "You're not going to Azkaban," he said softly. "I don't know what I did to screw up so badly that you felt you had to erase my memories, but whatever it was, I'm really sorry."

Remus looked up and saw the honesty in the grey eyes.

"Remus?" James said, drawing his attention away from Sirius. "Whatever he did that spooked you, I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. He can be a bit of a prat at times, but his heart's usually in the right place."

Sirius began to nod, until he realised that there was an insult in there. "Remus," he whispered. "I only wanted to get to know you better. I've been seeing you around for a while now, but I couldn't seem to find the words whenever I got close to you. When I'm Padfoot I don't have to worry about that. Whatever you've heard about my family, I promise I'm not like them."

"He's really not," James added with a firm nod.

"If what I've done was so bad you can't forgive me, then I promise you'll never have to see me again, and I am truly sorry."

Remus gave a small smile. "Very suave," he said quietly.

"Huh?"

"When you spoke to me at the club you said it was all wrong because you were supposed to be suave and I was supposed to be nervous. Now it seems to be the other way round."

"It is?" Sirius asked.

Remus's smile grew a little wider. "Can I have my wand back, please?" he asked James, who placed it in his outstretched hand.

Turning back to Sirius, he ducked his head a little. "I'm sorry I tampered with your memories. You didn't really do anything so bad; I just panicked when I found out who you were."

Sirius nodded and grinned. "That's the Black family for you – inducing panic wherever we go."

Remus smiled and raised his wand to Sirius's temple.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius exclaimed as his memories flooded back.

"What?" Remus asked, panic setting in again. "What is it?"

Sirius grinned. "I just remembered St Mungo's."

"You remember everything?" James asked, still sounding slightly suspicious.

Sirius nodded without turning to his friend. Remus's smile had become a full grin and he found himself unable to turn away from the sight.

James watched his friend lean towards Remus and knew what was coming. He wanted to look away, but could not seem to bring himself to do so. Lips were touching, hands were caressing and clothes were being pushed aside. "Er…guys?" he asked tentatively. "You do remember I'm still here?"

"I think they're in their own little world," a female voice said from behind him.

James turned to see a redhead who – from Sirius's descriptions – had to be Lily Evans. He hadn't heard her come in. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

Lily shrugged. "Long enough. I'm Lily." She held out her hand.

"James Potter," James replied with a smile. "Do you think we should remind them we're here?"

Lily shook her head. "Come on, let's leave them to it. We'll lock the door behind us."

"You have a set of keys?" James asked.

Lily shook her head again. "Who needs keys?" she replied with a grin, pointing to his wand.

James grinned back at her and pointed his wand at the lock, securing it behind them. "I know a nice little café down the road, you know, if you wanted to…"

"Sure," Lily replied.

"So, you're a witch?" James guessed.

"Yes," Lily answered cautiously.

"Do you share Remus's talent for memory charms?" James asked.

Lily went from cautious to suspicious. "Why do you ask?"

James hooked his arm through hers as they walked down the road. "I have some very traumatic memories as a result of Sirius's plans to get the man of his dreams. So, I was wondering if the girl of mine might be able to get rid of them for me."

Lily laughed as they entered the café. It was a nice laugh, and James considered that on reflection, perhaps it had been worth it after all.


End file.
